Well this is awkward but...

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Well this is awkward but...

Postby pink_hannah » Sun Mar 09, 2008 11:39 am

Here's the shizzle. I'm 17, and have a long-term boyfriend. I know he wants our relationship to go further and I think I do to. But having had heart surgery and also operations on my spine for another condition, I am very self conscious about my (very obvious) scars and would like advice on how to broach this with him. I can't exactly go "by the way, in case we have sex, i've got a massive scar the length of my chest and the same on my back" but then again I would hate him only to find out when it came to our first time. Obvioulsy, I would not want to be with him if my scars put him off me, but I'm not sure how to find out how he would feel about it. Any advice welcome please, and sorry this is a bit blunt lol.
Diagnosed with AVSD at 6 months old, operation to correct it at 10 months, on lisinopril to prevent the tear from ripping any further.
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Postby blonde_saint » Mon Mar 10, 2008 2:09 pm

Hi, I know how hard this conversation can be to have with your boyfriend! Does he know about your heart condition? As I suppose that will help. Altho it will be hard I think the best way is just straight to the point and explain about them. I'm sure he will be fine about it and very supportive
Good luck with it
Deb x
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Postby darkphoenix » Tue Mar 18, 2008 2:51 pm

Maybe wear a few lower cut tops and see if he notices or says anything. If he doesnt then he will either be waiting for you to say something or not have noticed.

Things on our bodies can seem a much bigger deal to us than they do to other people.

Good luck.

amyx
Right modified BT shunt 1983
Left unidirectional Glenn 1986
Innominate vein to main pulmonary artery 1988
TCPC 1997
amplatzer septal occluder into hepatic venous channel to left atrium 2001
Collateral embolisation 2003
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Postby craig30471 » Wed Mar 19, 2008 10:45 am

hi i got 2 scars front an back when i used go on holiday i allways wore t shirt to hide them but now people get used to them so i dont mind now people take u for who u r not wot u r hope turns out grt thx
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Postby mrs noddy » Fri Mar 21, 2008 10:38 pm

Id just like to say im 23 and i have got a scar around my side under my arm, a big long scar down my chest and two scars about 3 inches long from pacemaker ops one on my tummy and the 2nd above my breast near my shoulder.

I was just like you when i was younger and wouldn't wear low cut tops and bikinis because i was worried what lads would think but now I'm with someone who understand about my heart condition and my scars don't bother him.

Just be straight with your fella and tell him how you feel.
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Postby jules007 » Sun Mar 23, 2008 11:09 pm

When I was in my teens and 20's I can not remember ever being worried about my scars, I think the fact that I had one breast bigger than the other was more of an issue.
I was a not one for long term boyfriends then either, so I did not care much what men thought of my scars.
It was only when I met my first husband that it was an issue, but I told him right from the first day I met him that I had a heart condition and scars to prove it.
He though it cool, and he was not botherd about my breast problem either.
I think when you meet the right person they will not even give your scars a second thought.
My partner now is not at all bothered about any of my scars or if I am to acquire new ones . He just thinks its a part of me and our lives together. :D
I did however get my breast problem sorted with plastic surgery. If in the future I am to have more operations I will get the scars looked at to make them less visable too.
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Postby mrs noddy » Sun Mar 23, 2008 11:24 pm

While your talking about breast i thought my small once were down to my open heart surgery when i was 3 years old and they had to cut down the middle of my chest because the other women in my family have big breast and i dont????

Has any other GUCH woman found this??
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Postby jules007 » Mon Mar 24, 2008 11:47 pm

My breasts are 36C about average, but when one was bigger than the other I was in a 36E. :shock: I must admit out of all the plastic surgery I have had this is by far the one that has made me the most happy. ( I have had three eye lid, breast and knee). All by local anaesthetic and not general.
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Postby mrs noddy » Tue Mar 25, 2008 1:04 am

I did go for a constellation about having a boob job but they were very dubious of doing it and i haven't gone any further as yet but i might do after iv had my operation that I'm supposed to be having on my heart in the next couple of months.

Iv always not been happy with my breasts, iv got some weight i would love to lose and one of my ears is bigger than the other and maybe my nose could do with being abit smaller.

But hey not every woman is 100% happy with there bodies, are they?

Were the plastic surgeons OK doing you surgery even tho you have a heart problem?
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Postby Livi » Wed Mar 26, 2008 7:54 pm

I didnt tell the first guy i ever slept with that I had scars. A long time before we "went all the way" I was topless n front of him, and he saw my scar and asked what it was. I told him, and he simply took one more look, kissed it, and went on like nothing happened.
If you are with a decent guy, someone you trust, your scars will not be an issue. And don't be put off if he asks, it is just natural human curiosity. In my opinion u shouldn't be going that far with a guy u can't trust enough to be completely yourself!! Give him a chance, be honest and good luck! xxx
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SMALL BREASTS!!

Postby becki sowerby » Fri Mar 28, 2008 2:45 pm

hAS ANYONE ELSE EVER THOUGHT THAT THEIR SMALL BREASTS ARE DUE TO HEART SURGERY?. i THOUGHT MAYBE BECAUSE i HAD MY FIRST SURGERY AT AGE 10 IT INTERFERED WITH PUBERTY AND I NOW HAVE LITTLE BREASTS. MY MOTHERS ARE A GOOD SIZE SO WHAT HAPPENED?
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Postby jules007 » Sat Mar 29, 2008 8:22 pm

mrs noddy wrote:
Were the plastic surgeons OK doing you surgery even tho you have a heart problem?


Yes I asked my Cardiac consultant to point me in the right direction after having one surgeon refuse to help me.
My cardiac consultant suggested that he spoke to someone he knew that would do the reduction. He was just lovely and so was the anaesthetic team who did such a brilliant job of keeping me comfortable while operating with just local anaesthetic ( a bit like an epidural in the side if your spine).
I do not regret one moment of pressing so hard to get this operation.
I asked the plastic surgeon if he would do the same operation under local anaesthetic again and he said yes it would be an option he would now consider, as I was the first.
I can not remember his name, but if you want I could find it for you, he works at the Royal Free Hospital in London. :D
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Postby mrs noddy » Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:29 am

I have always thought that my small breast might have something to do with the surgery iv had, after iv had my ablation and TCPC operations i might thing again about geting implants, if i can afford it that is?
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Postby Nicliz » Fri Apr 04, 2008 4:08 pm

Hi im new here but thought id throw my 2pence worth in anyway :)
I stopped caring wot ppl thought of my scars when i was about 7 years old and actually became proud of them. Like most of you have said i have a long one the length of my chest from open heart surgery but i also have one breast which is 2 cup sizes bigger than the other. This seems to affect me more than the scars do. I have just been put on the waiting list for breast augmentation.

With the view to your boyfriend, if your shy bout your scars they will be more noticeable to him, if you dont care about them and are proud of them the chances are he wont even notice and if he does ask, tell him proudly why they are there. Always works for me :)
Keep smiling, you never know who might be fallin in love with your smile! :)
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Postby mrs noddy » Wed Apr 09, 2008 7:10 pm

My fella doesn't care about my scars or small boobs he loves me the way i am and doesn't want me to change in anyway.

Its just me that's not 100% happy with my body but what woman is?
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