Bullying

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Postby kadahl » Wed Oct 26, 2005 9:38 pm

I too was bullied, for a number of different reasons. One was my heart disease. I was always picked last in group activities on phys ed, and during this time my class"mates" used to lie on the floor in the dressing room, holding their hands to their hearts and telling everyone "I'm Karolina and my heart hurts, ouch ouch!!" They all laughed. I sat there, silent, in a corner, not knowing what to say. There are so many incidents just like this that happened, that I don't even know where to begin.

Also, my scar was "gross", or so I was told by a number of people. I rarely wore any low-cut t-shirts during junior high, and when I did, people (who I didn't even know) came up to me and pointed at my scar and screamed "eeeew, what the f*ck is that...". I hid my scar, and wished for nothing more than to remove it by laser.

Nowadays I'm really confident in myself and I'm proud of my scar... it represents ME, it's a part of me and a proof that I'm a survivor. I like to wear low-cut t-shirts to show it off (I guess other girls wear 'em to show of something completely different... :D), and should someone come up to me and say mean things about my scar today, I would definitely tell them to go shove their attitudes up where the sun don't shine.
~ Karolina ~
Truncus Arteriosus Communis, ASD & VSD
--------------
1986 ASD & VSD fixed, new conduit inserted.
1998 Conduit replaced.
2000 New aortic (pig) valve inserted.
2003 Conduit replaced.
2011 Aortic valve (bovine) replaced jan 20
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Postby blonde_saint » Thu Oct 27, 2005 11:22 am

When I was at school I used to get bullied as well and I used to wish I was dead the only reason for the bullying me was because I was different and couldnt do things everyone else could because of my heart condition. I stood up to the bully once and it stopped then because I said I dont care what you think I cope with whats the matter with me and you wouldnt be able to cope if you had the problem and the scars have saved my life and it all stopped :)
lv deb xx
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Postby Leanne » Fri Feb 17, 2006 1:27 pm

I have recently been subjected to this at college, yesterday to be exact, but i reported it as soon as it happened and i am pleased to say the boy in question is not in college 2day, infact he has been sent for an interview with another college nowhere near mine, which i must say is fast work, they really take no tolerance seriously here. I would give you the details of exactly what he sed but it was extremely upsetting, but put it this way as soon as those words left his mouth his friend lost any respect they had for him.
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Re: Bullying

Postby Groovydudette » Fri Nov 24, 2006 7:06 pm

I was bullied for ages. I was really fine wen i lived in Yorkshire but i moved to Wiltshire and every1 picked on me in Primary from year 4-6.
I didn't do P.E and every time we got changed everyone saw all 3 of my scars (I have 4 now but there was 3 at the time) They kept asking me why did i hav them, and when i couldn't answer they poked them and said i've cut myself and i'm an emo which i din't know what an emo meant at the time but I knew it wasn't nice.

Secondary was good i had a lot of laughs there and still do lol (still in secondary :( lol)

Anyways, i did the wrong thing wen i was bullied. I kept running out of school. But i just told a teacher- that didn't work either. I told my parents- that didn't work. But in secondary i just grew up. I told every1 whu h8ed me that i h8ed them. I know thats sounds harsh but hey thats life, thats good that you told someone though, telling no one is the worst thing and im glad they stand up for u now.

Heather -x-
Cardiomyopathy and Bradycardia
pneumonia
pacemakers: 1994, 2000, 2006
and look i'm still smiling =>
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Postby julianmartin » Thu Feb 01, 2007 12:56 am

Hi,

Well throughout school I had several different people make an issue of my condition. Fortunately I never had a problem confronting them about it so I often left them looking a bit silly after their crude comments. I found the best approach, is to simply ask them, what's the difference between you and I? All they can say is you have a heart problem. And all you can say back is, what difference does that make? Am I a bad person because of that? Have I done something wrong? Of course the answer is always no. Don't rely on other people like teachers to solve these things for you, you will feel so much better about yourself if you deal with the problem straight away. Bullies only say things on hearsay for reputation, set their opinion on you straight away, and you will never have a problem.
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me too

Postby mrs noddy » Tue May 29, 2007 12:50 am

i too got bullied in school n thay knocked my confirdence thay made me feel n still do like im ugly fat n unatractive. dat is why i didnt want to got to school in da last few years but when i finished n started to go clubin n getin dressed up i started to feel better bout my self but i still dont feel 100 persent happy wiv my self.

i think dats why i get jealous if a girl i think looks better than me talks to my husband to be but deep down i no he love me 4 me n wud never leave me for anyone else.

as i read these posts my boyfriend was readin them too n he as just told me dat he used to b a bully when he was in school. he is 5 years older tham me n i didnt no him when i was at school but he feels really bad about wat did when he was younger.

i his a different person now he is lovein n carein n understand all bout my heart problems n it hasnt been a problem for him ever since we have been together. hes says dat it makes him want to care for me more n look after me.

so mayb those bullies now no that thay did wroung n i hope thay feel bad.


we r who we r, we may not b like other people but we r still people we r different n we r special n never for get dat
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Postby charliekate24 » Tue Jun 19, 2007 1:30 pm

Hiya

I was never openly bulied but rejection and ignoring by your peers can be just as hurtful. I got over it by reading, my books were my friends untill i moved to senior school where i now can't move for stopping and chatting to people. you just need to find your own way of dealing with it, whether you take up something new to introduce yourself to a different group of people or just ignore it and stick to friends you already have. I also joined choir where i met a girl who is in the year below me and is just as crazy about music as i am, and i hung round the library and made a load of friends there who are as crazy about reading as me. I have never been happier.

The whole experience has hardened me and although this is NOT the best way to deal with it i have found that i am my favourite company, i find it really easy to withdraw into myself and stop feeling. now that things have gotten better i find it easier to appreciate everything that it is so easy to take for granted.

I have never been bullied about my heart but then i have allways been vey happy-go-lucky about the whole business. i joke about myself all the time and i particularly enjoy saying "haha, you have to do hockey and i don't". some people say that this is something you do to protect yourself but i do it because i am very comfortable with myself, and everybody is happy with it because of that.

sorry, that was a bit of an essay

if you read the whole thing, congratulations!!
charlie
Born with:
Pulmonary Stenosis
Double Inlet Left Ventricle
Over-Riding Aorta
Rudimentary Right Ventricle

Had TCPC when 3

ALL FIXED! Well, i have a really mucked up circulation and take Warfarin and Enalapril, but apart from that all is good.
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Postby rowbo88 » Mon Nov 05, 2007 1:25 am

I haven't really been bullied myself. This is because at school I forced myself to do stuff I could not do really. For example, running the 400m, sprinting the 100m and so forth.

Recently however, I just have no energy what so ever to do what I used to be able to do. This is because of my recent mishaps with my heart. For example, my baffle got blocked and only the cappillaries were supplying me oxygen. I get mild CHF from medium to hard excercise due to the heat most likely.

Therefore I am now getting left out of outings by my mates. For example, My mates went to climb the Glass House Mountains yesterday. I found out today that they all went and I never knew. So I am pretty depressed today and upset.

On the other hand, my parents have been really supportive and that is all that matters to me.

Rowbo88
Heartkids QLD
TGA, 20mg lisinopril, 9.25mg carvidilol, lasix, 3rd pacemaker, stent, mild CHF, Mustards procedure 1987.
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Postby Tiny Tim » Thu Nov 08, 2007 1:29 pm

Hi, thought I'd add my 2p...

Im 26 now and was never really 'bullied' at school - at least, not by the kids... In primary school one teacher just COULD NOT get it into his head as to why I couldnt do PE... so he used to make me sit indoors by the window (whilst everyone was playing footy) and make me do maths. Needless to say I became very good at Algebra :lol:

Only advice I can give is to laugh along with the bullies... if they call you a name, laugh and say its funny.. they'll soon get bored!
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bullying

Postby rachel20 » Wed May 13, 2009 8:09 pm

My sister was bullied repeatedly at school and so when I became a teacher I was determined not to have one whiff of it in my classes. Thankfully most of the schools Iv'e worked at do take it very seriously(sorry to butt in on your teen messages but I'm horrified at your stories) I worked in primary schools so I dont think the primary schools are as bad. I think that bulling should be a huge priority in secondary schools and in the workplace as sadly it does happen with adults too. I too have been bullied at school , enough for me to refuse to go back. I REALLY STOOD UP AND MADE A BIG FUSS. Nobody has to tolerate it so my advice is to make a really big fuss cos they did listen to me in the end and it was dealt with. Take care everybody Rachel
sub aortic stenosis repair 1998 leaky aortic valve (moderate)
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Re: Bullying

Postby Stevandrew » Thu Nov 15, 2012 9:51 am

It is bad that you were bullied and now same happens to you again i think you need to tell this one to your parents or some relative moreover you can complain to police so that this might not happens to you near future as this Cyberbullying is a crime.
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Re: Bullying

Postby Adam » Thu Nov 15, 2012 10:08 am

I got bullied a lot as my sternum didnt heal straight so my chest has a big bump. Kids are so cruel when I think back to it now. I used to get in a lot of trouble at school for standing for myself and fighting back. Now I look back at that, I'm kinda proud of myself in a weird way.
Adam
 

Re: Bullying

Postby vicki » Mon Nov 19, 2012 10:26 pm

No one has the right to hurt anyone. If you are being bullied, please tell someone.

Childline have some excellent information on bullying http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bul ... lying.aspx

They can be contacted on 0800 1111 and offer an online chat, email service and message boards.

Please do not put up with being bullied. Keep safe.

Vicki
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Re: Bullying

Postby Amber McGlone » Wed Apr 24, 2013 10:28 pm

I was also bullied a lot at school as I get ill a lot and people never understood why. They started making up rumours and threatening me which, naturally, made me feel even worse. The school wanted absolutely nothing to do with the bullying and told me to move schools or go to college (I stayed as why give the bullies the satisfaction)? The police weren't any help either. I have now left school and am in a job where i am happy and my colleaguesvat least try to understand. Nobody should have to go through this but the only advice I would have would be to speak to someone about it! Don't let small minded kids (and often adults) get to you and keep smiling! :D
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Re: Bullying

Postby u314101 » Sat Jan 18, 2014 9:58 am

hi my name is Lucy Gardner i have a mechanical main heart valve i got bulled a lot of my condition at first u feel like everyone out there is against you but there are some lovely people out there that will help i never did things because i was worried if people see my scar or hear my heart valve ticking i talked my worries with my friends and family and it made me feel a lot better no one can make u feel bad with out your permission that might sound weird but if you think about it makes u in control i was diagnosed at 12 i am now 18 going on 19 and i still have the odd bad day where it plays up but if u keep positive and ignore the bullying believe me you will have a great life.
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